Tantra Dating

Tantric Dating!? Never thought I would right anything about this until a got an enquiry about me going on a tantra date. The instant tantric date popped popped on the Internet I knew that would be yet again another abuse of "term". Unfortunately the trend is growing. People already tired of the games and deceptions typical of our dating culture seem to have raised their hopes of finding the right one in Tantra Dating circles.

I listed my "details" into one tantra dating site and soon got a number of  "very genuine, interested, good looking, honest, good sense of humour, loving men" willing to make me "happy " and if we click they were also looking to "share the future with me". Why me? Because I "look gorgeous", "seem to have a good sense of humour", "have amazing eyes",  "intelligent open minded "and nothing "like the last one" with whom  they had almost a sexless life. The ex are never interested in sex or told them how "highly sexed"  and "hot" they are.

I am sure they were, but as a woman I also know that when our hormones reach high levels, we women seem to get a bit of body temperature. Its cyclical and we seem to get on with those changes quiet well.  Men on the other hand when faced with hormonal  hight they seem to believe that happiness satisfaction is with the next fix.

Many are so desperate to get ride of the old that they forget one fundamental rule: "do not speak of your ex to your date". If one cannot get this one right i guess life a deux will proof far too complicated to contemplate with such person.

The greatest danger of course came from those who added the tantra esoteric language and a good dosage of emotional spiritual reverberations only to achieve similar nonsense: I am an "enlightened man", " I love form the heart", I want a  "beautiful nice goddess" with whom to "transform " my world...is not "afraid" and "wants the same things I do". She must be willing to "share this happiness" and Tantra "sexuality" I have "discovered". "I am a tantra man", I know how to "give pleasure to a woman". I discovered this happiness in a  "tantric workshop", my "teacher is so spiritual", she really "helped me" find myself ", she really "transformed " my whole life.

In Being Right Here, Rinopoche says "if you chose to that that path then you need to learn what the tantric vows really are and keep them." He also warm that the true danger comes from those who have "chosen" the path and taken the Tantric Vows. They are often the ones engaged in the activities of ignorance.  He also says that the "Tantras discovered a fast way, and then they have to pay the price" of taking years to clear the polluted mind which is - mind as the thinker. "The presence of our own  existence is not something that can be identified as being an object, entity"-2004. To wish for something is human nature, the mind is always wishing one thing or another. But to wish another person fits and transforms one's category its "ugly", Being in Love, Osho.

Tantra language sounds absolutely wonderful but in most cases its only language- intelligent nonsense.  Tantra its truth and that is eternal. Tantra will always remain tantra, regardless of what people do or say in its name , tantra cannot be transformed.

I understand that Tantra's only essence is about self transformation for self consciousness, self enlightenment and self realisation. Tantra is a deep egocentric practice. Teachers and goddesses cannot transform anyone. They can simply offer wisdom,  show paths amongst many paths but the walking its done by the individual.

Understand that finding a partner intentionally, while engaging in self discovery can be counter-productive.  Tantra dating tend to engage in reinforce egos, and strengthen entities of the very ego we want to separate from; the first step towards the path of enlightenment. Again the energy surrounding love has a different quality to that involved in the process of self discovery.

One form of energy is extroverted the other is introverted, one is expanded. Mellows  and its anaesthesia to inner criticism inner judgement, has the quality to form attachments. The other has to have a quality, force, courage to break through contrived and at times painful emotions, attachments, neediness.  The two polarities merging at the same time will create a "freak" energetic frequency. Self discovery gets forgotten and falling in love takes place in such settings.

It's known and accepted that a person in love, happy and in bliss see no need to enquire about happiness, consciousness and even love. We know that its in time of hurt that we learn the most, because we become analytical, we have to make difficult heart breaking choices that actions choices make us more aware and more mature. Unfortunately for humanity such lessons are seldom welcomed and properly learned, instead we move on the same path of confusion, denial, where truth cannot penetrate, becasue truth its too hard and difficult job to attain. 

The whole project of "self discovery" tends to fall behind in favour of the "delicious" "blissful" of "falling in love". And now with tantra permission where "sex is sacred and so great" until the next one of course.  A life lived within tantra methodology skills and tools its not that easy but life in the  "limited ambit of the body" and "in the  blissful fallacies of the mind" is and that 's what many have settled for.

Tantra Dating could indeed be an amassing opportunity for sharing but even in that we can see the opportunity for the ego. Sharing does not mean blurting about ones great developments and blissfulness, because ego loves bliss that radiates and contaminates through spoken words, and carefully choreographed mannerisms and attitudes. Tantra ego its still ego, so what we end up "sharing" its refined sacred vanity self glory, spiritual gossip.

Unless one has set up a date to  teach  and learn a tantra skill,  a tantra date  requires silence, stillness, meditation,  unspoken energetic connection. The witness present (consciousness) and the mirror (the one who can reflect my image back to me with transparency offered by the mirror) Tantra  its a light,  the gravy can only be thickened by the ego. Meet, do nothing be still and say goodbye, that's enlightenment.

Tantra dating its the last thing people want. Meeting the self its a hard job. we live in a society of fast food, fast solutions. People look to hill their emotions the way they treat a headache. They want tantra to be like the sweet sugar coating around the bitter pill.  But tantra is not about suppressing emotions down and put up a  mask of tantra bliss, full of eroticism, which only serve to reinforce the hook at the end of the string of insecurities, fears, attachments, judgements, control over others.

As the self its so afraid and insecure we look to find the perfect other with characteristics i can dominate, change, alter, manipulate. I call that happiness, beauty, and it will work.  When people look for a partner to come into their life to "transform " their world such person knows nothing of self.  A person who  search for complete happiness through the other knows nothing of  the inner.  All our unhappiness are caused by Energetic imbalances-. Imbalances are the root of all our unhappiness. Enlightenment which comes on the back-ride of a teacher's own spirituality knows nothing of  truth.

Tantra its neither inner or other self or other, Tantra simply is. When we compare measure and seek the I, from the other we rob ourself the chance to flow. Tantra is flow. Tantra means flow wave of life. By locating the I we set up a limitation and a false division. In life there is only one, its only in the mind that there is the other; other amongst many others  expressed in ways of fantasies, division with  nature-not nature, animal -human, right-wrong, truth  feelings-false feelings, women -men.

In the flow of tantra the other as well as the self disappears.
People are under the impression that sex alone can bring one to spirituality. Tantra lineages  offer a  short cut  to enlightenment. But its not the sex act that is the enlightenment those involved come to benefit from. Enlightenment is in the seekers of enlightenment or in the enlightened person.  The seeking is not mental, non sexual.  Is important to note that sex is in the ambit of the body. Its a necessity of the body. Nothing wrong with that.

The body seeks what is sacred  to  its own energetic biological truth.  However, the enlightenment seeker would question the quality of such truth. Weather his her truth its transparent or whether his/her truth is the result of  cultural, sociological, intellectual , hormonal, chemical data. Tantra Dating venues are offering people  a glass of wine and fine Champaign supposedly to wash down the viagra they are also offering for purchase. One must therefore  question whether such truth its simply the  drugs, the alcohol , talking? 

To answer the question one must switch off from its intellect. Unless the shift from sex to sensuality occurs the seeker will not succeed. By switching to sensuality we  begin to touch spirituality therefore truth, about or mind body and soul.
Most tantra dating seem to be focusing on  dates for couples and stayed relationships. Tantra  skills are very centered on the self.  Before any work is done with a partner, Diamond Lotus  Method, starts by working with the individual. Is the individual not the couple that must have a date with  Tantra.

The individual has a date with tantra for self discovery not couple formation. It happens, love, sex, togetherness it's in the flow of life not in tantra per ce. People meet, they decide what they want to experience, sex or sensuality or life , hurt , pain , love, children, house, holidays, even death with each other that's life not tantra per ce. 

About love Osho said: Men still believe that love is the energy that can make men dig up a whole mountain but in the end all that is to be found is just a rat”. Tantra has the skills to transform "a rat" into a gigantic spiritual being.  In Secrets of the East Pralada Maharaja said that "the amount and the quality of energy depends on its destiny"...Material (body & mind) pleasure its fixed there is no advancement. 

About hurt, some are too happy hurting, some live a very comfortable life being in a place of hurt;. Hurting others is as much part of their fun and game as it is to avoid addressing their own issues. Its  easier to seek perfection in others , happiness, love for if that fails  its the other which is  to blame . Tantra has the skill to help people look into their false state of being and transform that into something else or simply accept the  transparent "that" one seems to be.

When you touch such path you know for the layers of negativity, the minute by minute judgement will weaken and eventually will disappear. When you can take deep breaths, when you welcome the chaos with equal awareness you know you have once again reached the path, you were told to loose as a child. In fact tantra is not giving us anything, you are giving yourself, yourself.

Make the next "Tantra date" a date with Sacred. Arrive as couples, remain as two separate individuals and learn as individuals.  As two separate individuals learn the art of sharing and celebrate oneness. Only as two separate individuals complete in their own separate individuality can the flow of awareness continue. The  individual conscious breath into the couples' cosmic flow. Union is achieved by two  fully enlighten or enlightenment seeking individuals meet as equals to experience, enjoy, shared , Totality. 

Tantra is a clarity, a direct experience words cannot convey- its is not constructed out of concepts, does not get tied out in knots. "Beautiful woman", "gorgeous smile", "same level" "same mind", "the perfect one" are all mind. Humans are not entities, things, we simple don't know who we are. The mind which is the nature of our selves we simply don't know. etc.  Besides tantra is not a cosmetic. it is a method to trans form the self. The more you touch your own  insecurities the more you open the possibility of moving through that transformation. 

Please note , although Tantra is very complex it is nevertheless a unique, crystal, transparent flow, and has a lightness about it. If it sounds, feels, looks, tastes, hears like sex then its sex. If a brothel its a brothel,  like  an escort parlour its an escort and their parlour.  The world is made out of choices, not condemnation.  If you have the desire, and you seek truth/ self you will find it.  Linguistically its very easy to find the self. But to find you need to look . And if you are looking what exactly are you looking for? 
Here is One simple clue: Look in, its all within you!
Namaste
Shakti Verah
077666890826

back to Massages >>